Chain Reaction
by n00b-masta2112
Summary: This is what would happen if I walked up and asked Naruto out on a date. Extremely stupid. ONESHOT I don't own Naruto.


**This is some random story I came up with while I was really hyper. It's pretty much pointless, but funny. Hope you like it!**

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**Epic Story (With Major Character Death)**

Short Stupid Version:

I come in and ask Naruto out on a date. He says yes. Hinata is so upset that Naruto isn't going out with her that she commits suicide. Hanabi is sad that her sister died, so she commits suicide. Hiashi lost both his daughters and has no reason to live, so he commits suicide. Neji dies because the main house has been exterminated by themselves. Tenten is so sad that her true love died that she commits suicide. Rock Lee dies because his group all died. Sakura realizes her love for Lee and commits suicide because he died. Naruto commits suicide because he thinks he should've taken Sakura out on a date instead of me. Sasuke realizes his true gay love for Naruto and cuts himself, leading him to bleed to death. Ino cuts with Sasuke, and also dies. Orochimaru is like, "NOOOOO!!! SASUKE'S BODY!!!!!" and dies. Kabuto is like, "Oro!" and dies. Kakashi is like, "My son!...Oh, wait he's not my son…" and commits suicide because he doesn't have a son. Guy dies because his rival and favorite student are dead. Anko is like, "Kakashi!" and dies. Kurenai is like, "Anko!" and dies. Asuma is like, "My cigarette! I mean Kurenai!" and dies. The 3rd Hokage is like, "My Jonin!" and dies. Konohamaru is like, "Old Man!" and dies. Moegi is like, "Konohamaru!" and dies. That other kid is like, "My friends!" and dies. Iruka is like, "My students!" and dies. Mizuki is like, "Iruka!" and dies. Shikamaru is like, "I have no motivation to live" and dies. Temari is like, "Shika-chan! Why?!" and dies. Kankuro is like, "Hug me, Karasu!" and hugs him, causing him to die. I'm like, "Aw, crap!" and die. Gaara's like, "There's no one left to kill!" and dies, but not before singing "EVERY TIME WE TOUCH I GET THIS FEELING AND EVERY TIME WE KISS I SWEAR I CAN FLYYYYY!!!!!" And the dead Sasuke sings "Hit Me Baby, One More Time" with him. They both fall lifeless to the ground.

Meanwhile, Shino's bugs eat him alive. Kiba is like, "GO AKAMARU! Eat me!" So Kiba dies inside of Akamaru and Akamaru dies of eating too much Kiba. Choji dies of eating too much chips. Or maybe he died of running out of chips and starving, but do I really care? Anyways, the moral of our story is: Don't ask Naruto out on a date or else everybody in the Narutoverse will die.

THE END

Longer, More Serious Version:

I have a sort of crush on Naruto because he's similar to me: hyper, annoying. Anyhow, Hinata is very upset, goes home, and kills herself with a rubber chicken late at night. Hanabi finds her like this, and uses the rubber chicken on herself. Hiashi walks in like this and yells, "NOOOO!!! My beautiful daughters are DEAD!" So he jumps off a bridge, but first does the hand sign that destroys Neji's brain with the curse mark. Neji drops dead in the middle of a training session with his group, clutching his head in pain. "Neji!" Tenten screams as she rushes to him. Lee comes to her side. She looks up at him and says, "He's dead." Rock Lee gasps in shock. They sit in silence for a while. "Lee?" "Yes, Tenten?" "Could you do me a favor please?" What is it?" "I need you to…kill me." She holds up a kunai. Lee screams in horror, "TENTEN IT WILL BE OKAY!!! ENDING THE FLAME OF YOUTH IS NOT THE ANSWER!!!!" "But Lee, Neji is dead. I loved him. The only thing left for me to do is be with my dearest once again." She looks up at her teammate with tears in her eyes. She says, "Please! Let me be with my love!!!" Lee casts his eyes downward. He sighs, "You are my flower of youth. I will do anything it takes to make you happy." Tenten smiles weakly at him and whispers, "Thank you." The kunai sinks deep into her severed heart, and she is finally reunited with the Hyuga Prodigy. Lee drops the blood-soaked kunai onto the ground, and a single tear of youth falls onto his teammates' lifeless corpses. "Neji…Tenten…I will join my team in a youthful place of eternity." He picks up the kunai again and stabs himself, deep. Sakura is looking on from the trees. "Lee." She whispers under her breath. "LEE!!!" She runs onto the training ground and throws herself over the dead shinobi. Between sobs, she says, "Lee…I'm so sorry I couldn't realize my love for you sooner. I will be just as Tenten and join my true love in that place of eternity…" She grips the kunai containing Tenten's and Rock Lee's blood and plunges it into her chest, crying out one last request, "Naruto…please follow your dream and become Hokage…please…" Naruto was passing by and hears this, and looks down at his friends' dead bodies. "Sakura…I can't become Hokage…without you to cheer me on." He goes to Ichiraku's Ramen and tries to eat. He cannot force himself. He is in too deep of a depression. So he travels up the Hokages' monument and leaps off, killing himself as he hits the ground. Sasuke was watching him from a window, and goes off to Yamanaka's flower shop to find Ino. "Hey Ino, guess what. I think I'm in love with Naruto." Ino's eye twitches. "Since you totally worship me, do you want to be emo with me?" Ino smiles eagerly, "You bet! Anything you say, Sasuke-kun!" So they take off their arm covers and cut each other to death. Orochimaru, who was picking out flowers for his boyfriend, Michael Jackson, yells, "Sasuke!!!! I wanted your body so badly!!!! Since I can't have it, I'll just choke myself to death with these beautiful roses." So he dies, and Kabuto sees it and goes, "Master! I have nothing to live for!" and also strangles himself with flowers. Kakashi comes in, aiming to buy some flowers for Anko, and sees Kabuto dead on the floor. "My one and only son! Why?" He then realizes that Kabuto was not actually his son, just a shinobi that eerily resembled him, and starts to cry because he doesn't have a son. He then goes out into the middle of the street and shoves Make Out Paradise down his throat. Anko comes along with Kurenai and sees her true love dead on the cold, hard, ground. She cries and removes the perverted book from Kakashi's throat and shoves it down her own throat. Kurenai says, "Anko! You are my only friend! Now I have no one." "That's not true." Asuma says from behind her. "Asuma!" she grabs the cigarette from his mouth and shoves it down her throat. "Hey! That was my only one!" Asuma pouts. "I mean…Kurenai! Why!? You were loved!" He runs off crying like a wussy and goes into the Hokage's kitchen and shoves a butcher knife down his throat. The Hokage walks in with his grandson, Konohamaru, and sees Asuma lying there. He looks out the window and sees his other beloved Jonin dead on the street. He grabs another butcher knife and says, "Konohamaru, you will be the next Hokage as of today." He then stabs his chest open and dies. Konohamaru's lip trembles. "Aww, Grandpa! Why'd ya make me watch_ that_?" He goes over to the academy and shoves a blackboard eraser down his throat. Moegi comes in and sees her best friend dead, so she takes her beloved limited-edition colored pencil and shoves it down her throat. That one runny-nose kid sees his only friends like that and chokes on his runny-nose gunk. Iruka is so sad that his students died that he takes a windmill shuriken and slashes out his organs with it. Mizuki finds him like this and does the same. Somewhere, deep within the forest, Shikamaru is watching the clouds when he realizes, "I have no motivation to live…there's nothing really worth it." So he lies there until he's dead, carried up to join the clouds. Temari is visiting Konoha with her brother and suddenly senses Shikamaru's absence in the world, and gets very pushy. "Kankuro! Why do you always…be Kankuro?!" Kankuro is very confused. He watches as his older sister shoves her fan up her butt. "Crud! This stupid fishnet is getting in the way!" she yells. Temari just resolves to eating the stupid fan, and dying of lead poisoning. Kankuro is wandering around the village when he goes past Yamanaka's flower shop and sees everyone dead. He thinks, "That's weird." And continues walking. He goes past the training ground and sees a bunch of Genin dead. Again, he thinks, "That's weird." As he's walking past the Hokage's house, he sees Asuma and the Hokage dead in his kitchen. "Okay, this is really starting to freak me out." He goes past the academy and sees the rest of them dead, and gets super-duper freaked out. "HUG ME KARASU!!!!! I'M SCARED!!!!!" He unwraps his puppet and hugs the lethal weapon. All the concealed junk kills him almost instantly. I walk out of nowhere and just die randomly. Gaara feels a weird kind of feeling, like he no longer needs to exist. "There's…no one left…I have no meaning for my existence…Sand Coffin!" A casket of sand encases the sand shinobi. A muffled, "Sand Burial!" is heard from within the cocoon, and Gaara is dead. A light singing of "Every time we touch I get this feeling and every time we kiss, I swear I can fly!" can be heard from the dead Shukaku host. Sasuke is singing "Hit Me Baby One More Time!" even though he's dead.

Shino was sitting in his room when his bugs suddenly get VERY HUNGRY and eat him alive. "Why?" was Shino's final word before he was completely engulfed in bugs. Kiba randomly says to his loyal companion, "Eat me, Akamaru." Akamaru obeys his owner and swallows the shinobi whole. The nindog then keels over from eating too much. Choji finally ate himself to death, though nobody knows how it is possible.

So anyways, all of our beloved characters are dead. So all the fans die, as well as all the fans' families, coworkers, friends, etc.

Moral: Don't ask Naruto out on a date.

THE END

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**Yeah, that was probably stupid, but I don't know. What do you think? P.S. The whole point of that was to be stupid, so don't take me seriously. :p**


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